Liveblogging Super Tuesday--with a twist

It's Super Tuesday!  And I've decided to liveblog.  I will be updating this blog every fifteen minutes or as developments warrant throughout the night.  I will also be discussing the ridiculousness of the news coverage.  And, as an extra bonus, I will be doing progressively more and more drunk-blogging as I am going to be playing the Super Tuesday drinking game!  I promise that, in order to be fair to all biases, I will switch between the three major 24-hour news networks (CNN, MSNBC, Fox News) throughout the night so as not to concentrate my mocking on one specific news source.  First polls close at 7 in 3 states (Vermont, Virginia, and Georgia).  Off to eat something before then and fix myself my first drink of the evening.  See you in 23 minutes!

7:00 PM:  I am truly taking one for the team tonight, friends.  Tonight I have started off my drinking with the cake-flavored vodka mixed with the most half-assed Country Time lemonade ever made.  It seems only fitting.  Now I am waiting for the first of the results.  And here they are.  Of course, MSNBC is projecting already because they cannot wait for actual results.  Newt Gingrich is projected to win Georgia, which is no surprise considering he's from there.  Both Virginia and Vermont are too early to call, but we'll hope for the best.  I just wish I knew what the best was.

7:11: CNN is talking about how the two most important groups in November's election will be women and Latinos.  It's about time someone pointed this out, and the fact of the matter is that Republicans are not going to be able to swing women to their side.  One of my favorite quotes from The West Wing is applicable here: "Women aren't only half of voters but they're the entire margin of victory."  A woman on CNN just had to remind one of her panel members that women are Americans.  According to a WSJ poll yesterday, apparently, Obama is leading over Romney by 18 points over women.  That's impressive.  I have to say I am so encouraged to see women being talked about so extensively as an important group to look at on a major news network.  And I'm so glad that Rush Limbaugh and his comments are causing Republicans to take a hit with women.  Maybe he did us a favor after all!  Also, MSNBC has a map on the bottom of their screen permanently.  Does that mean I have to drink constantly until commercial breaks or until I switch to another channel?

717 PM: Quick note: the women on that panel were treating the contraception debate as an actual issue while the men were discussing it simply as a campaign issue.  Methinks some privilege is showing?

7:24 PM: Romney gets Virginia, which is no surprise considering it was only him and Paul on the ballot there.  He was basically handed the state.

7:30 PM:  Ohio polls closed.  Shockingly, nobody can make a projection for who will win the very second the polls closed.  I wonder why.  Chris Matthews is talking about how Santorum is done if he loses Ohio as it is right next to Pittsburgh, where Santorum came from.  Once again, I curse the name of my hometown being associated with Rick Santorum.

 7:44 PM: Ron Paul is speaking about the Federal Reserve, wars, and spending cuts.  And, somehow, the Internet.  I just realized he's in North Dakota, which is interesting.  I'm switching to a different drink as I'm not crazy about this cake vodka business.  Romney barely leading in Ohio.  Let's keep praying for a Romney victory.

I never thought I would type those words.

7:59 PM: Fox News is currently disappointing me with its lack of crazy.  I have switched to rum and Cherry Pepsi, and if this does not work out I will be switching to wine.  Oklahoma polls just closed and Santorum is going to be running down the middle of the state.  Romney took Massachusetts, which is a "no duh" fact as it is his home state.  Tennessee is too close to call (polls JUST CLOSED, people!) so we'll keep a close eye.

8:11 PM:  Ohio is getting a lot of attention.  It always does, in both the primaries and general elections, as it truly is a bellwether state.  Santorum is, as expected, doing well in the more rural areas.  Romney is stronger in the Cincinnati area.  I must admit that I have spent most of the evening trying to make Santorum puns.  This will probably not get much better.  Ohio is also important because the candidate who wins there will be an indicator of how important economic versus social issues will be in the rest of this election.  Sarah Palin will be on Fox News soon; be prepared for all-caps updates soon.

8:25 PM:  In Ohio, working women overwhelmingly voted for Romney but married women were split between Romney and Santorum.  This is frustrating, but not at all surprising.  Ohio is a decently socially conservative state, and married conservative women would identify better with Santorum's values.  I think it is an indication of a lack of general electability on Santorum's part that working women aren't going for him.  Santorum is supposed to be the one between the two of them who is more in touch with the working class, and if his social views are overshadowing that economic identification it should set off alarm bells for him.  Also, Andrea Mitchell just referenced Aaron Sorkin.  My night has been made.

8:35 PM:  Santorum just took Tennessee.  This is a problem.  Also, Newt Gingrich is going to speak soon.  They showed the event where he is on MSNBC and it's currently a bunch of people milling around attempting to appear enthused by the 1950s crooner music playing over the PA system.  I hope he talks about the moon at least three times in the single victory speech he will be making tonight.

8:40-852 PM: Calista Gingrich is speaking.  She would almost be charming if she weren't so robotic, and she seems to only exist for the purpose of being Newt Gingrich's wife.  Now Newt himself is speaking.  He is being pompous and continuing to ignore the fact that he is the biggest Washington insider of any of the current candidates.  He--of the half million dollar Tiffany's bills-refers to liberals as "elites".  Newt can continue to portray himself as the outsider underdog--the latter is finally actually true for him--but I don't think it's working at all anymore.  He also seems incredibly paranoid.  In any case, he's not saying anything particularly crazy.

9:06 PM: Newt finally stopped speaking.  I think I fell asleep there for a minute while that was happening.  Caucus in North Dakota are starting to happen, so we'll see how that turns out.  Gingrich mostly talked about energy and the economy, and seems to be convinced that he will win with his handful of states.

9:15 PM:  It was just reported that Santorum has experienced a ten-point drop in support of women in the past week because of the birth control debate.  He's still leading just so slightly in Ohio right now.  This one is going to be interesting.  Santorum is speaking in Ohio right now.  This will DEFINITELY be interesting.

9:37 PM:  He was actually quite uninteresting.  I think Santorum is skirting the social issues because he realizes how much it's been hurting him.  Of course, he discusses the importance of family and hard work, bu nothing about women, gays or religion.  Maybe he's getting a hint.  I'm going to start updating less frequently, but I'm still watching and you should be, too.